TODAY? Today I became a man.
And it was ferociously amazing.
A life-changing, goal-shattering moment. When, if only for a few hours, I was cast on an equal footing to my father, empathising with his manly ability and knowing that at some point, somewhere in life, I’m gonna be the man he is.
It was a true boy-to-man experience, where he (Dad) would be proud, and an occasion where I was two separate persons’ only hope. They needed me. I wasn’t gonna let them down.
Yes ladies and gents, I changed a blown car tyre. On the M62’s hard shoulder. Near the highest point of motorway in England.
I bravely battled against the vicious and treacherous elements, as rain and wind whipped and lashed against me and my bare hands. Thunderous Lorries ploughed on through the conditions on the motorway, nearly clipping my hunched back as they sprayed water at me while they cut through the rain. The clock tick-tocked, time went on, near soaked I got the first wheel nut off. It was one of ‘dem locking wheel nuts innit – to stop hoodlems like me from stealing the ‘fackers! This meant it required the ‘key’ an attachment to the wrench that unlocks the whole tyre. Next I loosened the other 3 and jacked the car up, unscrewed the other nuts fully, swapped the tyres over and tightened it all up. Against the odds and conditions I prevailed. I took them all on and won, just like in that film 300 we they have the challenge to become a man, that’s what this exercise was equivalent too. And with that Charlotte (my flat mate) and Jack (long-standing friend, bro and personnel photographer) were safe and back in the car. And I developed a new handy man ability.
My new-found manly efforts and talent did not go unnoticed and I was rewarded for such bravery demed necessary by her maj' herself, (made that last bit up).
After this and upon my return to the flat I just potted about for a bit, not doing much, until I received a text from my girlfriend, amazing Miss.Daisy Jackson. Now the next part of text may confuse/excited and literally instantly make you happy. This is a massive curveball... Are you ready fot it?... What about now?... The text said, “DID YOU SEE US ON THE TELLY!?!?!? Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! You were well serious! ‘You can recycle that if you take it to a special centre’ ‘Ah, right...’ ‘Are you going to do that’ ‘Nah’ xxx” okay that quotes she wrote ain’t exactly right but I did enough to convey the gist of what it was she was saying. Basically WE were on national T.V. I will not spoil this for you; I’ll let you watch it for yourself... 18minutes, 5 seconds in. (I'd just like to gloat that I bet you wasn't expecting that! Unless you been on my facebook.) (Oh and Iwould like to point out I was at Elia's, Hayley's and Zowie's when I received that text - mentioned teh girls... check!) (Pure alphabetical listings there!)
I know... I know... I look well Hench on T.V and my hair, well I didn’t even bother doing it that day, and yet it atill looks ruddy amazing. Messed up look. BUT that is all the exciting news I’m willing to share with you all, I’m tired (of talking about myself... Shock, shock and double horror) and need sleep, and you’ve all got the best out of me, So I hope you enjoyed it! AGB
(I now have signature branding thanks to my most dedicated, number one fan Kate Ingham, she invented AGB and for this I am eternally grateful.)
P.S
Heads up, this week is gonna’ be exciting ...
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